Dark Paradise
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: Lana Del Rey. Lydia's world crumbles with the loss of Allison. But the one person she needs to help her, she pushes him away. Can Stiles breakthrough her walls? Can he show her he needs her as much as she needs him? AUish*DISCLAIMER*Please review*
1. Is This Happiness

Is This Happiness

Chapter 1

 _Lydia laid shaking in her bed. Tremors pulsated through her body as her eyes closed. She constantly relived the nightmare she woke up from. The nightmare she lived in._

 _Her life without Allison._

 _Their lives without Allison._

 _The huntress who loved others more than herself. The strong willed girl who believed in protecting those who could not protect themselves. She was snatched away from them too soon._

 _The cold sweat on her forehead did not erase Allison laying limp in Scott's arms. Or her blood staining the ground beneath them._

 _But it was a pair of arms that kept her sane. Whispering comforting words in ear, She allowed herself to be engulfed in the only certain thing in her life._

 _Stiles Stilinski._

 _The young boy who had evolved into the clever, fearless young man who loved with every fiber in his being. It was his love that helped her evolve into the trustworty and caring girl she was._

" _I miss her too." Stiles rubbed circles in her stomach. He knew that no words could erase the pain his friends were going through._

" _It's been half a year now. I don't know why it still hurts so much." Lydia felt his lips kiss her strawberry blonde hair. This had become their ritual. Every night he would sneak into her room to hold and make her feel safe._

" _Because you loved her. You still love her. We all do Lydia. We will just take this day by day. Eventually we will learn to live with the pain and disdain. But we have to live for Allison. It is what she would want." He kissed her forehead._

" _How do you know?" Lydia turned to face him. Despite the darkness, she saw his face as clear as could be._

" _Know what?" He grazed his thumb along her cheek._

" _How do you know the right things to say? You always know what to say to encourage me." She kissed his hand._

" _Practice." The two laughed as he got out of the bed._

" _Where are you going?" Lydia panicked as she grabbed his arm. The immediate fear clutched her heart. She wasn't ready to be alone again._

" _To go get you some water." He assured her. "I will be back."_

" _Stiles please. Don't go." She felt her world begin to shatter as the ground crumbled beneath her._

"Lydia. Lydia." Aiden shook her. As of lately, all of their dreams tortured them.

At times, he heard Ethan's voice in his head. It was unfair how life took the most important people from you without regard. It didn't matter how much you needed them or vice versa.

"Yeah?" Rubbing her eyes, she sat up. Aiden's concerned eyes made her feel guilty. Why did her dreams have to center around Stiles too?

"I was trying to wake you up for school. But you were screaming so loudly and talking in your sleep?" He played in her hair as he looked in her distant eyes.

"What did I say?" She hoped it wasn't about Stiles. Please don't let it be about Stiles.

"You were screaming Alison's name. You probably didn't get enough sleep last night. I'll get your assignments today." He kissed her forehead as she laid back down.

She held her tears until Aiden left. If she were a Banshee, why weren't her powers strong enough to detect the presence of the dead? She needed Allison's guidance. Grabbing the picture of them together on her nightstand, she imagined her best friend holding her.

"Allison, I know you are here. I might not can see or feel you but I know because it was in your nature to watch out for us. But I got my wish. I wanted Aiden to change and he did. And I should be grateful. He should be the one thing that makes me want to wake up but he's not. Far from." She took a deep breath.

Finally she was ready to speak the truth.

"You were right about Stiles. He's everything. That kiss was everything. But it's too late. He has someone. And I can't take his happiness away from him. You two taught me how not be selfish. And I won't be. He has lost so many people in his life. It just wouldn't be right." She choked on her words.

Hoping her tears would put her to sleep, she clutched her pillow tight. If only the pillow was Stiles.

 **TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW**

Stiles did not want to admit how he still noticed every little aspect about Lydia. The way her eyes lit up when an idea struck her. The way her hair flowed as she walked. The way she talked to him with just her eyes only. The list could go on and on. And today was another day Lydia was not here with them.

With him.

He knew she needed him as much as he needed her. He felt it. He sensed it. He didn't know how but it was like his sixth sense. And with Allison gone, she needed to be by his side. But he couldn't do that. Not when she had Aiden and he had Malia.

He wasn't so together as he appeared. Allison was his sister. And if it had not been for him, she would be alive. What was so wrong with him that he kept losing everyone he held dear to his heart? Maybe it was also why he was glad Lydia was away from him. That way she would be safe. Only in his dreams did he hold her. Touch her. Kiss her. Make love to her.

Malia, his girlfriend, was becoming more of an obligation rather than an option. And somehow he became the same for her. They were both growing apart. Afraid of saying what they needed to say because of the fear of being alone.

"She's not here again." Scott waited for his best friend to pick up on the hint.

"I'm aware." Stiles shut his locker as Aiden passed the two with a death glare.

"Looks like he knows you are too." Scott gripped his backpack straps.

He was expected to lead them but he was lost too. And he had to be strong for all of them even if he was weak himself. Allison, his first love, died in his arms. He just wanted to keep his pack together and safe. He had already lost too many. Erica. Boyd. Now her.

"This is hell Scott." The two walked outside to his jeep. "We're all torturing ourselves and trying to hang on to the little shred of happiness that we have. At least you have Kira. But I have no one."

"Stiles you got me." Scott put his hand on Stiles' shoulder. "You will always have me."

"But I can't keep depending on you to carry our burdens. You can't be the alpha all the time. Beacon Hills has forced us all to grow up. We can handle what most of our peers can't. But we still have a breaking point." Scott knew he was listening to his pack's future emissary.

"And Lydia has reached hers. Which is why you have to go to her. Only you can get through to her." Scott watched his brother get into the jeep.

Stiles knew Scott was right. The more he and Lydia were apart, the more his world crashed and burned. He had to stop running.

 **TWTWTWTWTW**

Scott knew he did the right thing as he walked back into the school. Stiles needed to know that it was alright to love her. Feelings since the third grade don't just evaporate. It was also arrogant to think this, but he knew Stiles was the only one right for Lydia and vice versa….

"What the hell was that?" Aiden appeared from the other side of the building. His golden eyes flared.

"Making things right for my pack." The alpha stated firmly. His red eyes casted on the other's claws. Both could not win Lydia's heart.

"The noble Scott McCall. The perfect leader. The perfect friend." Aiden's sarcasm rang loudly. "Stiles needs to mind his business. Lydia is no longer his concern but mine."

It took everything in Scott's will power to keep his human form. Aiden's smugness was getting under his skin.

"He's the one who dropped her for Malia. Remember that?"

"That's not true. You have no idea what was going on his mind. Besides Lydia was just another notch in your belt that you fell for. Your intentions were never really genuine. Just like joining my pack."

"Scott always doing right by his friends. Did you ever once think about my loss too? My twin. Ethan. Did you ever once think that Lydia was the only thing I had left in my life? Damnit." He fell to his knees.

"You're right." Scott acknowledged. "I was wrong for putting that idea in Stiles head, especially when I knew you were there but I'm not apologizing for it…."

"I'm not letting Lydia go without a fight." Aiden exclaimed. "And there is nothing you can do about it."

"I won't have to." Scott walked away. "But if you hurt them you will regret it." He let his threat dangle in the air.

He didn't get it. Just because you loved someone doesn't mean that they have to love you back. Lydia always loved Stiles, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. She was so caught up in Jackson and being popular. But now it was changing and just like him, Aiden could sense it too.

 **TWTWTWTW**

Lydia forced herself to believe that the woods would provide her with the solace she was looking for. The many days she and Allison would come here to train. Laughing, she leaned against the tree. Allison trained and she gave her tips on how to improve. There would never be another Allison Argent. And she couldn't be replaced with Kira. Malia wasn't even an option.

Malia the wild were-coyote who needed Stiles more than she did. The girl who she hated for taking the best thing she had away from her. Stiles wasn't just her friend. He was more whether she spoke it or not. Everyone knew including Malia.

"Allison, you know I'm not big on clichés. Which is why I'm not at your gravesite." She sat on the ground, holding herself.

"your body is there, not your spirit. I'm not a medium, but I know you would be here with me if now if you could. I didn't actually realize what alone meant until you were gone. Until Stiles…." Her voice cracked. She was so tired of missing her friend and thinking about him.

Stiles walked through the desolate woods. His instincts never led him wrong when it came to her. Deaton's words were an explanation to the insatiable need of having her close to him at all times. They were each other's anchors. He wouldn't fight it anymore.

"Stiles." She heard a twig behind her break. Her body could always sense it.

"Yeah. It's me." Stiles watched her turn around. Their eyes meeting as both stood still.

So much happened. Yet, so much did not. Folding her lips, she stared at the ground. Surprising herself by not being pulled in by his deep brown eyes. She had to fight against the scream trying to escape her lips.

Stiles was emotionally killing her. And she was emotionally killing him.

"What are you doing here?" Lydia talked to ground. Hearing his footsteps come closer.

"Because you need me." Stiles removed the gap between them. Holding her small form in his arms. "And I need you." His hands cupped her face. Her clear green eyes staring into his soul.

"It's the only way we are going to get through this. Because I can't do it any other way Lydia. I can't." She wiped his tears. Shushing him quietly.

"It's like we all know the truth about Allison's death but we are too afraid to say it." Lydia shook her head. Brushing her thumbs across his cheeks.

"It's not true what you are about to say." Of course he believed this.

"But it is true Lyds. This is all my fault. It's something I will live forever with. It's why I couldn't be around you and Scott. Knowing that I caused you guys so much pain. It's why I immersed myself with Malia. It's unfair that Allison's dead and I'm alive." His legs buckled as Lydia supported his weight on the ground.

"It's not your fault. It never was. And I don't blame you. Life is cruel Stiles. The people who deserve to lose their lives don't. and the people who do their best to make lives better get hurt the most." She ran her fingers through his soft hair as he let out a soft laugh.

"What's funny?" She asked.

"The fact that you are comforting me when I need to be comforting you." He sat up, resting her head on his chest. Running his fingers through her hair, they both enjoyed this moment.

The pain and anguish were still there, but unknown joy and peace emerged.

"Stiles I meant it. No one blames you because it wasn't you who did this to us. The Nogitsune is gone. Forever. And if he were to return we wouldn't let him come for you." She listened to his steady heartbeat.

"But he came for you Lydia. I had never felt so powerless before. It was like at the moment I felt your fear, and I couldn't stop it." He held her closer to him.

"Shhhh." She sat up in his arms. "We are here now together. That is all that matters." She rested their foreheads together. "Deaton was right. Whether I want to admit it or not, you are my anchor."

"I don't think anything can change that." Stiles brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. She wanted this just as much as he did. This was the moment he dreamt about.

It was as if Malia and Aiden didn't exist. But they did. And _this_ wouldn't be right to them.

"Stiles. No." Lydia jumped up flustered. "I can't do this."

"Why not?" He noticed the space she put between them. "We are both miserable with them. I'm tired of playing this game." Stiles was no longer the goofy teen who used sarcasm as a defense, but a young man who knew what he wanted.

"Just because it's a game with you and Malia doesn't mean it's a game with me and Aiden." Her fear and denial spoke for her.

"Are you seriously saying this?" His heart broke. Why was she hurting them more?

"Lydia, I will leave Malia for you. It's always been you." He was praying that she would give in and not deprive them both.

Once again, he approached her. Gently moving her chin, he leaned in. Their eyes mirroring the want of this moment. It would be like the first time they kissed. Even better because she would give herself to him fully.

Lydia saw the truth in his eyes. He was willing to still sacrifice for her. She couldn't allow that. Her mind was always stronger than her body. And she would ignore this pounding pain in her heart.

"Stiles. I can't. I just can't." Lydia left him there broken.

Many people could describe her as superficial and cold hearted. Now they could add coward to the list.


	2. Flipside

Flipside

Chapter 2

It was always her that ruined relationships. Something inside of her that made her choose the wrong guys to fall for. Now she had fallen for the right guy and she couldn't allow herself to hurt him. Girls like her did best with guys like Jackson and Aiden. At least she knew what to expect.

Arrogant.

Flirtatious.

This was what she deserved because Stiles was out of her league. He just didn't know it.

"You didn't answer your phone." Lydia placed her purse behind her door at Aiden's welcome.

"Hello to you too." She watched his nostrils flare. He already knew where she was.

"Is that a distraction because you don't want to tell me you were with Stiles?" His comment made her blush. Why couldn't she see Stiles the way he saw him?

Scott's intolerable goofy sidekick.

"He's my friend. He needed me." She simply said. "Why is that such a problem for you? Don't you trust me?" Lydia pushed their moment out her mind. The feel of his finger on her lips.

"What about me? I need you too." He pulled her to sit on his lap.

"I know you do. Stiles is a friend and this paranoia has got to stop." She technically didn't lie.

"I don't like the way he looks at you Lydia." Aiden heard the irregular heartbeat. "And I don't like the way you look at him."

"So go on and ask me." Lydia stood up with frustration and accusation. "Did I sleep with him?"

"I know you didn't." He was making himself more of an egotistical jerk.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He kissed her. Hating how she didn't at least try to lie for his sake. She did have feelings for Stilinski.

"I choose you." She kissed him. The uncomfortable feel of his lips. His hands grazing her body as he took off her shirt. She could handle this as long as Stiles was safe from her.

"What's wrong?" He pulled her to the bed. He could not ignore her sad eyes.

"Nothing." She took off his shirt. Running her hands along his muscles. But it wasn't enough to stop her from wondering what Stiles' chest would look like. Nor from feeling suffocated by Aiden's touch.

"It is something. Look I'm sorry for accusing you….." He began.

Her mind was on Stiles. She didn't want to be with him. She would have to say it because he was not going to let her go otherwise. It was selfish but the truth. She was the only good thing he had left.

"I'm over that. Really. I'm not in the mood I guess." She shrugged.

"Lydia you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'm not going to force you." He kissed her.

"Thank you." She kissed him. "Did you want to talk about Ethan?" She tried to open up to him.

"No. Maybe later when your mind isn't so preoccupied." He kissed her forehead.

"Aiden. It's not what you think." She tried to explain. Any other time she would have reveled in wasting another guy's time.

"It's alright. I will see you tomorrow. If that is what you want."

Both knew that the last statement meant the ball was in her court. It was the perfect opportunity for her to say "no." She heard the disappointment in his voice. He was expecting it, but she was too stubborn to follow her better judgment.

"Yes."

 **TWTWTWTWTWTW**

Malia was finally adjusting to her new life as a teenager. She was not the were- coyote that only followed her animal instincts. She was learning the rules of her new society thanks to Scott and Stiles. Stiles, the guy she formed an instant connection with in Eichen House. But somehow that connection was fading.

At first she felt him pulling back from her. Then she realized she began to do the same. She was becoming more humane as she began wonder why he acted this way. And why she didn't fight for their relationship. Coyotes mated for life and now she didn't know how to think. Now she was facing the alpha who lit the fire.

"Are you still angry?" Scott slowly picked himself up off the ground. Rubbing the back of his head, the soreness of his back began to heal. Malia had the strength of ten men.

"Yes. No." Malia helped him clean up his room. She was responsible for the big mess anyway.

"Why didn't he tell me?" She wiped her eyes. "I mean. I'm getting better at understanding emotions." She placed the books on his shelf.

Scott deserved more than to be thrown across his room. He should be begging for her mercy.

"Aren't I?" Her innocence was still shocking to him.

"Yes you are Malia." She sat on his bed. "I mean I would never hurt him. I knew it was ending but I didn't want it to be this way."

"Malia I do need to apologize to you because I overstepped my boundaries and I was just thinking about Stiles and not you. It was wrong and I hope you can forgive me."

"It's just that I don't even know what to do when I see Stiles. He has been calling me and I keep ignoring him because I know what he wants to talk about. Aiden told me he left to go check on Lydia during school. That's all that needed to be said."

"Aiden always has to make others as miserable like himself." Scott huffed.

"I should be madder at you for what you did, but I'm…" Malia stopped in mid-sentence at the sight of Stiles leaning against the doorframe. His hands in his pocket, Scott excused himself from the room.

No way was he going to let Scott take a beating meant for him. He made his bed and he would have to lay in it. Malia's tear stained face broke him more. But he would accept the consequences of his actions.

"Can we just skip this part?" Malia refused to look him in the eye. "It's over so let it be over."

"Malia." Stiles didn't mean to hurt her. But he had to think of himself for a change. They were only meant to be for a moment. Not forever.

"Don't baby me. Especially after you ran after Lydia today. You didn't even have the decency to break up with me before all of this. Am I that bad of person? Do I scare you so much that you thought you couldn't tell me?"

"No. Malia. I do care for you." He tried to show compassion but it was hard when you were the one doing the heartbreaking.

"just not like you do for Lydia right?" He could only nod.

"If Lydia wasn't in the picture would we still be here now?" She waited for his response.

"Yes." He admitted it to himself.

"Then there isn't really much to say. Goodbye Stiles." Malia walked out the room. Slamming Scott's door loudly. The two cringed at the sight of pictures falling off the walls.

"She took that better than expected." Scott stated.

"All I have is my gut and it is telling me to go after Lydia even when she thinks she wants Aiden."

"Well then show her why she needs you." Scott stated. "Sometimes you got to keep trying."

"This isn't lacrosse. She doesn't want to listen."

"Then make her." Scott stated.

Their fearless leader didn't understand Lydia's state of mind. For once, she thought she was thinking of his needs. How was he going to convince her otherwise?

 **TWTW**

 _The rain gently fell as the Stiles continued to chase Lydia through the park. There was no rain when it was just them together. The two of them playing as children. Lydia wearing one of her skirts did not let not that hinder her speed one bit. Stiles was definitely in shape and she was losing breath. Both of their squeals echoed in the air as Stiles pulled her by her waist._

 _Tumbling on the grass, Stiles landed on top of her. His fingers on her cheeks. Their eyes connected once more._

" _You're beautiful." He whispered._

" _You are too." Lydia touched his wet face. Engraining every detail in her mind._

 _No man had ever been beautiful to her. Before Stiles, she would only describe boys as "hot." But he was beyond that. He was passionate, determined, loyal, and kind. She never wanted to leave his side._

" _Lydia. I. What I want is…." He stumbled over his words as the rain continued to fall._

" _Kiss me Stiles." Her full lips brushed against his._

 _He froze as his body began to register this euphoric moment. His lips moved with hers as the sparks in his veins exploded. Intertwining his fingers in her hair, they were both addicted to each other's taste._

"Damnit." He stared at his ceiling. It was another dream.

How heartless could he be? He broke up with one and immediately was dreaming about the other. And the other had a boyfriend. More like a pet that she was stringing along. Out of all the supernatural occurrences and beings here, this scenario was still far fetched to him.

 **TWTWTWTWTW**

Lydia touched her lips for the millionth time this morning. It was just a dream. A very realistic dream of them kissing in the rain. She had never been kissed like that. Aiden could never kiss her that way. Yes, he was dominant. But he didn't know how to also be patient and tender. Stiles did.

She was a basket case because she was forcing herself to be with someone she didn't love.

Walking through the hall, she saw Kira and Malia together. Luckily, their backs were turned to her. This made her immediately turn the opposite direction. She did not want to look at Malia's accusing eyes. Why did Scott have to tell her they were no longer together? Stiles made the wrong choice.

And of course, Stiles was heading her way. Why couldn't she get a break today?

Walking in the library, she hoped he didn't see her. Swiftly walking to the darkest corner, she released a sigh of relief. This could actually work. Maybe he just kept walking. It did make sense. He had no reason to be in the library. Hitting herself in the head, she was actually having a neurotic conversation with herself.

"Are you done running away from me now?" Stiles waited for her at the end of the aisle. He watched her literally shake herself to death.

Lydia ignored his spiteful remark. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction, she walked up another aisle. Naturally, he met her at the end.

"Stiles. Why can't you let this go? I made my choice." She pleaded with him. "Just go away."

"Because Lydia. I dreamt it too." His fingers played in her hair. She instantly calmed down at his touch.

"Dreamt what?" She tried her hardest to lie. His hand guiding her to back of the library.

His own actions surprised himself. This newfound courage he had was because of her. Her back against the wall, he cupped her face again. Like in his dream. Smiling at her delicate features. Yes the dorky boy was finally touching the gorgeous genius.

"That kiss. You think about it too don't you?" he pressed his body into hers. His breath upon her lips. Desire in their eyes, she nodded.

"Then, please don't pull away?"

His lips had never tasted anything as sweet as hers. Their tongues played as their hands began to roam each other's bodies. His hands found her small waist. Hers wrapped around his neck. Pure ecstasy and elation fueled their adrenaline rush. Both were oblivious to the fact that they were still in the library.

When did Stiles become such a good kisser? Wait…

"Stiles." She pushed him off. Instant shock and disappointment appeared on his face. Why did he torture himself like this?

"That can't happen again. Aiden." Out of breath, she touched her lips.

"Lydia I can't keep doing this. I can't keep putting myself out there."

"Stiles, I never asked you to. Maybe I want you to stop."

"Stop lying to yourself. I love you. I have always loved you. That won't stop. Aiden can't stop that. And as much you want to deny it, you love me too. Not saying it doesn't mean it's not true. If you didn't you wouldn't have kissed me like that. It's either all or nothing Lydia. I can't just be your friend. I can't be in your life anymore."

"What?" Her heart dropped at his words.

"you keep saying one thing but you mean another. You wanting me to stay away from you is bull. You not saying how you feel about me is bull." He passionately stated. "I deserve to hear the truth."

Stiles was right. If Allison were she would tell her to admit it too.

"Fine. I do love you. I do. I love you." She cried in defeat. "But Aiden. I can't leave him now. He acts like he is strong but he's not. He misses his brother."

"I know he does. Just like we miss Allison, but something needs to happen Lydia." He wiped her eyes gently. "We both feel it." He scribbled directions on a piece of paper.

"Stiles I don't get it." He placed the paper in her hand. Their hands lingering in each other's longer than needed.

"I want you to meet me here around 5 today. You being here let's me know you choose me and not him. Please choose me." He kissed her cheek.

Lydia watched him leave her behind. Was she really going to go? Could she neglect Aiden like this?


End file.
